October 24, 2008

COMPULSION OR DISCIPLINE

I find that I must make myself create art. It is not a compulsion, but a discipline. Many of the illustrators, painters, and artists that I know react the same way. I love drawing in my sketchbook, creating ideas, observing, etc., because it is for me (although I choose to share my sketchbooks with others). They are meant to be utilitarian.

I seem to want to do anything but start a painting: that's the hard part. I know that each time I work, I am in for a battle. Every successful painting that I have created has gone through an "ugly" stage. If it comes out on the other side, then it has passed the test of trial by fire. If it does not come out of this ugly stage, then it is a failure. This happens more than I would like to admit. Time is no friend of mine...

A blank canvas means judgement, especially if the work has an application. I know that others will see the work, good or bad. Getting myself into the studio takes true will power, and I find that establishing some kind of schedule can be of some assistance. I used to keep office hours when my studio was outside of the house. Nowadays, my studio is in my home, and the line between personal life and work is blurry indeed.

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